Spiritually transmitted diseases (Photo's: satsang in the Sinai with Vartman, 1999)        When I started to hold Satsang three years ago, I would often   talk about  the importance of walking the middle-path or razors edge,   between self-doubt and denial. It appeared at that time, that 98%   of spiritual seekers were trapped in the dilemma of doubting that they   were already Consciousness/Love.   Even in this relatively short time many seekers have turned into   founders, or possibly many have just jumped to the other side of   the razors edge from self-doubt to denial.   Over the last year or so there has been a huge proliferation of satsang,   teachers pointing to the simple fact that we are already perfect,   pure and whole. It is totally true, but the mind is a tricky beast, and it can use almost any truth for its own benefit. The challenge is that generally the mind is not keen on making effort when it thinks it can get away with comfort and even less enthusiastic to be shown areas that need more investigation and not entirely illuminated. It appears that all of us suffer this habit from time to time. It is nothing personal, it is just the way the mind operates, and is not a problem unless we are attached to our level of spiritual attainment, more than we are open to honest and naked spiritual existence. As the spiritual community grows, the spiritually transmitted disease, of denial seems to be turning into somewhat of an epidemic. Why rock the boat? At some level it hurts less to be thinking that you have got it together, than being plagued by the mind stuck in self-doubt. As H.W.L. Poonja once answered, when someone asked him: "Why do so many of your devotees think that they are enlightened? His answer was: "Better than thinking that they are unenlightened! So why rock the boat? Because life, if not death, will probably test the depth of our ability to be ok with what is, at a pretty extreme level. The first step out of this trap is the willingness to truly inquire and see where we may be constricting our inherent openness. The good news is that there is a really accurate and tangible depth meter to give us a realistic measure of how deeply we are embodying our realization, illustrating where the truth may only be at a mental level. The Tibetans are really clear on the point of not resting in the bardo of: 'I have seen that I am already perfectly free irrespective of anything I do.' What so often seems to happen is that it is taken for granted that I can always count on perfection being here, so we believe that we can attend to it later. In Dzogchen the 3 aspects of realization are listed as: view, meditation, action. Correct seeing of the Truth, meditation/practice to get used to the correct view, and then spontaneous action, always grounded in love (regardless what it looks like), is a confirmation of the depth of our living realization. The practical test So the practical test often looks like this; a predominantly masculine person in his spiritual path primarily feels at home in the emptiness/stillness of consciousness. Through meditation (or some other practice that allows him to become grounded and familiar with this fact of who he is), he can fully participate in the ever-changing flow of life. As he deepens, fewer things in life can make him fixate on experiences (in mistaking the promise that they would be able to give him more freedom than is inherently already here), or can overwhelm him into retreating from life. In a predominantly feminine person, her true spiritual life connects her more and more deeply with the fact that she is inherently Love. And through her practice, her conditioning is less and less able to limit the natural radiance of Love. Both the masculine and feminine person can deepen without being in intimate relationship, because their primary potential to live totally open is always in the fullness of the moment. The masculine is at home in the peace of nothingness, but is also totally attracted to the feminine energy, perhaps in nature, art, and especially in women. The feminine person is home in love, but is also attracted to feeling the stillness of divinity manifest in front of her in a man that seems totally trustable, dependable, and uncollapsible in his ability to be directed and strong in the midst of the flow of life. The interesting test is when these two people meet and become intimately involved. 'I am so enlightened until I get into relationship.' Intimate relationship tests the level of our practice to an extreme. As the honeymoon period wears off and all the latent conditioning and childhood neediness arises, it becomes an acid test of the man's ability to truly embody freedom. Particularly when the woman is expressing her stronger emotional aspects of love. Is he grounded and so clear that nothing finally matters, so that he can play fully in life and be truly loving in their life together? Conversely the test for the woman is to surrender her strength of independence (as opposed to codependent weakness) and fully living as her deepest natural expression of love. It is a tall order indeed but what else would we want to do with our lives, when we have seen who we truly are? This test works for virtually all people but not all. I have met a very rare minority of people that obviously have no karmic desire to be in relationship. For example, one of my teachers in India, Dolano, never really had any interest in sex or relationship, and there were no signs of strong repulsion to it either. So for the modern celibates, this is not really appropriate. Why I mention this to highlight the difference between naturally being uninterested, and convincing ourselves that we are uninterested as a defense against life which often equates to being constantly wounded by love. Embodying realization in daily life Four months ago I asked via our website if anyone could recommend people that were "tangibly" embodying their realization in daily life. Since then, Susanna and I have hung out with, spoken with, and listened to more than a dozen of the most notable western teachers that we could find alive at this time. By their own admission, virtually all the teachers that we met, stated that remaining fully open in intimate relationship without denial, is an extremely challenging test. It is an area that many of us would prefer to leave out of spirituality (as many religions have tried), as it seems to bring out the best and the worst of our conditioning, leaving us feeling schizophrenic in the tug-o-war between our spiritual logic and our rapidly defending/denying/closing emotions, body and mind. For some, an understanding of the absolute truth is enough, but in my experience, spirituality is only complete when it covers and enlightens EVERY aspect of life, without leaving out parts that seem unspiritual. Someone that has a profound understanding of the use of intimate relationships and sexuality for down to earth spiritual growth is David Deida. Refreshingly, David lives this path with tangible evidence as displayed in his life. He has deeply researched spiritual traditions, delivering the essential truth in a radically practical spiritual path.  We are deeply touched and inspired by the vision  of a fully sexual spiritual culture starting now so we  have decided to work closely with David to serve who  ever feels the pull to live authentically, vulnerably and wildly open to God in every moment of life. (See also www.deida.com) In freedom and love, Vartman and Susanna.