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What is YOUR Sexual Essence

(A Short Quiz)

by David Deida


This is a simple quiz to help give you a feeling for your sexual essence. Try to answer each question as honestly as possible. As you are answering each question, imagine that you are in bed with a sensitive and sexy intimate partner who you trust completely. Following the quiz is a key to help you determine your sexual essence from the answers you have chosen.

1. I would more often prefer that my sexual partner was
A. physically stronger than I am
B. physically less strong than I am
C. my exact same strength

2. I would more often prefer that my sexual partner was
A. physically larger than me
B. physically smaller than me
C. the exact same size as me

3. Although I may like variety in the bedroom, I would prefer this situation more often:
A. I surrender to my partner who sexually ravishes me in love
B. I sexually ravish my partner who surrenders to me
C. nobody surrenders and nobody gets ravished

4. It would hurt me more if my partner were to say to me:
A. "You are looking really old and wrinkled lately."
B. "You are really losing your edge."
C. "You really treat men differently than women."

5. I am more often turned on when
A. I give up control and let my partner be in charge sexually
B. my partner gives up control and I am in charge sexually
C. nobody gives up control and nobody is in charge

6. If I had to choose from one alternative, I would rather
A. have a sequence of unfulfilling vocations but a perfectly fulfilling intimacy
B. have a sequence of unfulfilling intimacies but a perfectly fulfilling vocation
C. have a sequence of partially fulfilling intimacies and partially fulfilling vocations

7. When my partner does something that really hurts me, I more often
A. close down emotionally
B. have an impulse to leave the relationship, just for an evening or for a long time
C. discuss things rationally with my partner without closing down or wanting to leave

8. Which sentence describes the majority of the intimate partners you have had in your life most accurately
A. My partners have tended to get upset when I give them directions while they are driving
B. My partners have tended to change their minds about our plans based on the emotion of the moment
C. My partners have tended to be like good friends, with great communication and very little misunderstanding between us

9. Which statement is most true:
A. My partners often seem to assume they are right about everything
B. My partners seem to like to tell me that I think I'm right about everything and that I am inflexible
C. My partners and I have rarely had a discussion about who is right, because it has rarely been an issue

10. I find that my partners have been the kind of people who
A. Focus while working or watching TV to the extent that he or she hardly notices me
B. Flow from one task to another even while conversing very easily, although often he or she doesn't completely finish one task before moving on to another
C. Can easily talk to me while watching TV and also finishes most every task that he or she begins

Scoring Key
If you answered mostly A's, your sexual essence is more Feminine. If you answered mostly B's, you sexual essence is more Masculine. If you answered mostly C's, your sexual essence is more Neutral.

See also HotBooks, and three stages of relating

More info? see David Deida's site (via links)

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