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a letter from India from Rani March 2003


The unfolding goes on and on. Such richnes is revealed over time.

For quite some time now I have been looking around for a teaching that could take me deeper into myself. I have sensed for some years now that this awakening is just a new beginning. The entry into another realm. I have always shared with you that I experience my self as a baby here. In a way I found fulfillment in this awakening and in another way a deeper thirst has emerged. It is almost like asking: Who am I really?
It is no longer a search to end suffering but a longing of truth for itself, always to come deeper home.

Advaita finds its limitation here as it says that there is no I, which in the most absolute way is true, but it misses one step in between where there is also an individual soul, a unique flavor waiting to be uncovered.
In the old traditions I have come across some precise guidance for meditations but always with such a limitation as they deny the body and the humanness. I have also looked in the esoteric realm and found limited clarity there and not much guidance. Contemporary teachings did not resonate that much with me either.

Over the past year I noticed that somehow I had become lopsided . So much clarity and understanding increased and at the same time the energetic expansiveness inside started to become less instead of more!!
That is why meditation found its way back into my life again since some time. Our last retreat was a reflection of that.

Recently I was so blessed to participate in a 7 day silent retreat with Aziz .
Aziz is someone who seems to have traveled a lot deeper into the mystery than I have and he has been able to guide me in an amazing way much deeper into myself. The week with him has brought me much expansion and much deepening in understanding and sensitivity.
Once again I am not the same anymore.
The teaching that he shares is for me the most intelligent and holistic vision of awakening and enlightenment that I have ever come across and I vibrate and resonate very much with it. However it is complex , it has to fit with you and one has to be willing to be a total beginner again.
Check it out for yourself (http://www.azizkristof.org)

Now after this retreat , it is so clear that meditation is really needed alongside of self inquiry, if we want to live in an awakened state. I have told you many times that states come and go and not to focus there. Now I find that this is not true. Simply a misunderstanding.
I feel that I am learning a whole new way of meditation now, a meditation that is not focused on any goal, but nevertheless is very focused.

I am so happy that I now have clear tools for myself and to share them with you. Many of you have asked me questions in satsang in this realm that I could not answer clearly as I did not know it myself.
As long as we do not stabilize energetically into our awakening we are in a strange situation. In a way clearly beyond the mind and still ruled by the mind at the same time to some extend.

And this is just a small part of what has been transmitted to me this last week....
I am looking forward to meeting you again and sharing with you this expansion inside of me.

As a result of this I had to make some changes in the way the living room intensives will be held. The new intensive will be on a much deeper level and a follow up on the ones of last year. It is not needed however to have participated in one before. Every one enters always at the right time .
Altogether the work will have a very different quality and flavor .

And now we are really on our last legs here in Pune. After two months of negotiations I have not been permitted to go and sit in Osho's Samadhi So be it. Osho is with me and I bow down to him in my heart.
Thanks for several offers of friends who wanted to take care of the animals. We have decided to leave them here for the time being as they are so at home here.
In love and gratitude, Rani

From the sunny side of the planet a quote from satsang.

buddha"Ego does nothing but translate and interpret reality.
Religion has always served two purposes. One is transformation,the other one is translation.
Transformation requires that you stand in life without any filter, without any belief but live directly.
This has only worked for very few throughout the ages.
In this way religion helps you to undo all the old beliefs and you can once again experience reality directly.
Ego can not experience directly, It can only
translate what it perceives to be real.
So for the masses religion has served this purpose. It has helped the ego to translate reality. To explain it in a way that the mind can live with it.
Satsang in a way also brings you a translation but this translation is meant to transform you.
Direct transformation is not so easy for the mind. Silence cuts any identification immediately. The words of satsang are meant to be a bridge from translation to transformation."

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