Namaskar, welcome to Satsang.
there's a lot of talk of death. In these spiritual circles, in
Satsang. The death of the ego. Death of who you think you are,
and of course, if you have been sitting in Satsang for some time,
you know in your mind that whatever is not real, which comes
and goes, which changes. Is the only thing that can die, obviously.
Who you are obviously can not die. What we are really doing here
in Satsang is looking for the incongruencies. The lies, where
you think you can die. All that can die here is the belief of
who you think you are.
And from my own personal experience, there can be this absolute,
complete recognition that who you are, who you think you are.
Is a complete lie, and all the work that has gone into that lie.
All the work, the attachment, the polishing, the wishing, the
hoping, the praying, to make it better, more complete,more loving,
more true, more whole, can be put down.
Then, there is this choice.
On one hand you have who you think you are, let's call it self
image. And that self image has suffered, is limited, is trying
to do the right thing, is trying to be in control and it's failed
The paradigm shift.
And on the other hand you have who you
truly are, which is complete, whole, fulfilled and doesn't need
any beliefs to support it.
So, the paradigm shift is from attachment to belief, to recognising
what is actually here now. And there's an interesting thing in
that, because what actually kills you is the bliss. Is intense
Love. All the love that you
have been projecting on your perfect idea of a partner, on God,
on your Guru, must be turned back to
yourself and that is the most excruciating burning. I've never
seen anyone survive that fire, but every fibre in your being
will tell you to turn it down. To go back to the way things were,
to just watch television.
That's the invitation, that's the dying.
To be absolutely still and not move in the face of your own selflove.
So, I had a beautiful e-mail from someone who said that she had
been a sanyassin for 10 years, she'd been
in Satsang for 4 years and then somehow she got it. Aha, I have
to stop putting my love out!
And for the last 3 weeks, she has just intensely letting this
love annihilate her. She wrote to me, and said, "Vartman
what do I do because in seeing that there is really only this
Love. All my stories of "Poor me" and trying to find
happiness, trying to find nice states has become annihilate."
"And the challenge is", she said, "even to listen
to her boyfriend's stories also became difficult." And she
wrote to me, and says "my mind is telling me "I'm uncompassionate"
but, the challenge is, I can't buy into it as if it's real."It's
So, there can be many casualties but
who you are won't be one of them. The only question really is:
It's not gonna be here in a moment. It's not gonna be here when
you are feeling love and peace and bliss. It is here now. And
it's waiting. So, if you don't like what is here now. Then, you
are welcome to run, but if you are in love with Truth. It will
hunt you. Relentlessly. Good luck.
So, enough said from me.