Why rock the boat?
At some level it hurts less to be thinking
that you have got it together,
than being plagued by the mind stuck in self-doubt. As H.W.L.
answered, when someone asked him: "Why do so many of your
that they are enlightened? His answer was: "Better than
they are unenlightened! So why rock the boat? Because life, if
will probably test the depth of our ability to be ok with what
is, at a
pretty extreme level.
The first step out of this trap is the willingness to truly inquire
see where we may be constricting our inherent openness.
The good news is that there is a really accurate and tangible
to give us a realistic measure of how deeply we are embodying
realization, illustrating where the truth may only be at a mental
The Tibetans are really clear on the
point of not resting in the bardo of:
'I have seen that I am already perfectly free irrespective of
anything I do.'
What so often seems to happen is that it is taken for granted
can always count on perfection being here, so we believe that
attend to it later. In Dzogchen the 3 aspects of realization
as: view, meditation, action. Correct seeing of the Truth,
meditation/practice to get used to the correct view, and then
action, always grounded in love (regardless what it looks like),
confirmation of the depth of our living realization.
The practical test
So the practical test often looks like
this; a predominantly masculine
person in his spiritual path primarily feels at home in the
emptiness/stillness of consciousness. Through meditation (or
practice that allows him to become grounded and familiar with
this fact of
who he is), he can fully participate in the ever-changing flow
of life. As
he deepens, fewer things in life can make him fixate on experiences
mistaking the promise that they would be able to give him more
than is inherently already here), or can overwhelm him into retreating
In a predominantly feminine person, her
true spiritual life connects her more and more deeply
with the fact that she is inherently Love. And through her practice,
her conditioning is less and
less able to limit the natural radiance of Love. Both the masculine
and feminine person can deepen
without being in intimate relationship, because their primary
potential to live totally open is always in the fullness of the
moment. The masculine is at home in the peace of nothingness,
but is also totally attracted to the feminine energy, perhaps
in nature, art, and especially in women.
The feminine person is home in love, but is also attracted to
feeling the stillness of divinity manifest in front of her in
a man that seems totally trustable, dependable, and uncollapsible
in his ability to be directed and strong in the midst of the
flow of life. The interesting test is when these two people meet
and become intimately involved.
'I am so enlightened
until I get into relationship.'
Intimate relationship tests the level
of our practice to an extreme. As
the honeymoon period wears off and all the latent conditioning
childhood neediness arises, it becomes an acid test of the man's
to truly embody freedom. Particularly when the woman is expressing
stronger emotional aspects of love. Is he grounded and so clear
nothing finally matters, so that he can play fully in life and
loving in their life together? Conversely the test for the woman
surrender her strength of independence (as opposed to codependent
weakness) and fully living as her deepest natural expression
It is a tall order indeed but what else would we want to do with
when we have seen who we truly are?
This test works for virtually all people but not all. I have
met a very
rare minority of people that obviously have no karmic desire
to be in
relationship. For example, one of my teachers in India, Dolano,
really had any interest in sex or relationship, and there were
no signs of
strong repulsion to it either. So for the modern celibates, this
really appropriate. Why I mention this to highlight the difference
naturally being uninterested, and convincing ourselves that we
uninterested as a defense against life which often equates to
constantly wounded by love.
Embodying realization in
Four months ago I asked via our website
if anyone could recommend people
that were "tangibly" embodying their realization in
daily life. Since
then, Susanna and I have hung out with, spoken with, and listened
than a dozen of the most notable western teachers that we could
at this time. By their own admission, virtually all the teachers
that we met, stated
that remaining fully open in intimate relationship without denial,
extremely challenging test.
It is an area that many of us would prefer to leave out of spirituality
(as many religions have tried), as it seems to bring out the
best and the
worst of our conditioning, leaving us feeling schizophrenic in
the tug-o-war between
our spiritual logic and our rapidly defending/denying/closing
emotions, body and mind.
For some, an understanding of the absolute
truth is enough, but in my
experience, spirituality is only complete when it covers and
EVERY aspect of life, without leaving out parts that seem unspiritual.
Someone that has a profound understanding of the use of intimate
relationships and sexuality for down to earth spiritual growth
Deida. Refreshingly, David lives this path with tangible evidence
in his life. He has deeply researched spiritual traditions, delivering
the essential truth
in a radically practical spiritual path.